|
Do
nice guys finish last at work, too? A recent study published in
the Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology says
yes. Dr. Nikos Bozionelos of the University of Sheffield in
England researched personality and career success and found that
white-collar workers who were the most agreeable, conscientious
and sensitive to the needs of others were less likely to be
promoted.
Bozionelos believes it's because they don't put their own needs
first: "Agreeable people tend to self-sacrifice and
compromise their own interests to make others happy." And
because "nice" people do things just to please others,
they often are given low-profile tasks no one else wants and
wind up doing activities that don't enhance their careers.
Because American culture celebrates forcefulness -- even
aggression, researcher and author Gary Namie says the altruistic
have it just as rough here in the United States, where,
"Nice gets you in trouble. Nice gets you exploited."
Author and executive coach Dr. Lois Frankel says there are a
number of ways nice people undermine themselves. Here are five
of the most common, along with tips for (pleasantly) breaking
the cycle:
1. You Let Others' Mistakes
Inconvenience You
Before rearranging your life to correct someone else's mistake,
assess the risk versus the reward of meeting unreasonable
expectations. At times you'll have no choice but to jump in to
put out the fire. But there will also be times when you have the
latitude to push back and say, "This isn't what we
originally discussed and agreed to. Since I'll have to rethink
the plan and put more time into it than anticipated, I won't be
able to have it completed by the initially proposed
deadline." Let the person know you want to provide the best
service possible -- and ask for the time and resources needed.
2. You Let Others Take Credit For Your
Ideas
Ever suggest an idea that seemed to fall flat, only to find out
later it was implemented and someone else got the credit? To
avoid having others steal your ideas, make sure you state them
loudly and confidently or put them in writing. If you're at a
meeting and someone proposes the same thing you've previously
suggested, call attention to it by saying, "Sounds like
you're building on my original suggestion, and I would certainly
support that."
3. You Apologize Unnecessarily
Save your apologies for big-time bloopers. When you do make a
mistake worth apologizing for, apologize only once, then move
into problem-solving mode. Objectively assess what went wrong
and ways to fix it. Always begin from a place of equality, for
example: "Based on the information initially provided to
me, I had no idea that was your expectation. Tell me more about
what you had in mind and I'll make the necessary
revisions."
4. You Work Without Breaks
Use your vacation days; take your lunch. Working non-stop can
make you appear flustered, inefficient and incompetent. It also
makes you less productive. To maintain maximum levels of
concentration and accuracy, experts suggest you take a break
every 90 minutes.
5. You Do Others' Work For Them
Recognize when people delegate inappropriately to you and avoid
the inclination to solve everyone's problems for them. Practice
saying unapologetically, "I'd love to help you out with
this, but I'm swamped." Then stop talking.
Of course being nice is not all bad. Dr. Bozionelos points out
that it can be of great advantage as long as you are aware of
and able to adjust your natural tendencies to undervalue
yourself and compromise your personal interests.
As Dr. Frankel puts it, "When all is said and done, do you
really want written on your tombstone: "She Always Put the
Needs of the Company Ahead of Her Own?"
Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D. is president of Corporate Coaching
International. She is the author of several books, including
"Overcoming Your Strengths" and "Nice Girls Don't
Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That
Sabotage Their Careers."
Kate Lorenz is the article and advice editor for
CareerBuilder.com. She researches and writes about job search
strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.
Other writers contributed to this article.
|
